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:icondyzzilet:

~Dyzzilet

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parts of one's life

Mon Nov 21, 2005, 3:01 PM
yay!!!! today i reached 200 pvs!!!!

anyways....
do you ever feel like there are so many parts of your life that never seem to meet? and then once they do, its in a way you would never expect? it can really be upsetting.

the other day i went to K-Mart with my mom, and ran into my 1st and 2nd grade teacher, who said she used the book i wrote and bound for her in her research and in conferences. two minutes later i ran into the boy i grew up with and now have a crush on, who i used to go to church with. (now, some of you know, i am buddhist, and he's agnostic) then, checking out, the cashier one lane over from me was the girl i went to elementary school with and thought was sooo cool.

so, it really depressed me, because i know she went to the public school in my town and prolly wont go to college, and i will have 8years at a private school and will go to a very good college!!

even later, i went to get a pedicure for thanksgiving, and a girl my age, with bracing was working on me. how unfair is it that i get such huge opportunities, and she is working in a salon at 16 on people her own age?!

now, it almost seems as if everyone from every part of my life is connected somehow other than through me! its just a little disconcerting. it also makes me very nostalgic. ive been crying a lot lately.

sorry that the entry is so long, hope you all will still read it!

-dyzz-

11 Comments
  • Mood: nostalgic, sad
  • Listening to: Fast Car

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:iconmaltodextrate:
~Maltodextrate Nov 21, 2005, 5:22:18 PM
*gasp* You're Buddhist?? :excited: ME TOO! WOOT! Finally, somebody else! Sheesh, I thought I was alone in the world ^^;

Long journals are good, I love to read them.

--
No, the abused and the angry end up in prison; it's the lonely that end up here in the mad house.
:icondyzzilet:
~Dyzzilet Nov 22, 2005, 4:06:27 AM
thats so cool! are you zen buddhist? or daoist buddhist? or both, cuz i am. oh, and =Chinesestunna is also buddhist. were you always, or did you convert? thats so cool, i know so few people who are buddhist! do you belong anywhere or anything, or just believe in the teachings and philosophy of it? wow, thats awesome!
-dyzz-

--
-dyzz-

"An Eye for an eye makes the whole world blind" -Ghandi.

Babel Fish. Babel. Babel. Babel.

PURA VIDA.

Million for Marriage! Sign the petition for gay marriage and GLBT equality!
[link]
:iconmaltodextrate:
~Maltodextrate Nov 22, 2005, 6:49:03 AM
I was raised to be a Catholic and that, well, SCREWED MY DAMN HEAD UP! :shakefist: I harbour great distaste for my former religion *snarls*

But I aspire to zen buddhism, but I've got a loooooooong way to go ^^; I love to hear all the teachings and think things over; I made my closet into my own little meditation room, but whenever I go in there and close the door, here comes my cat and she starts yelling. Doesn't like me in there, I guess :shrug:

--
No, the abused and the angry end up in prison; it's the lonely that end up here in the mad house.
:icondyzzilet:
~Dyzzilet Nov 22, 2005, 1:04:42 PM
me too. I was raised episcopalian, which is the closest to Catholicism, and i am rather strong in my feelings against what they believe. but i am overcoming it, and becoming one with peace. haha. i have a long way to go too. i took my five mindfulness trainings, which is just saying i pledge to practice what i preach. have you heard of Thich Nhat Han? hes a fabulous Buddha-sofa and author. you should look into reading his work, its really great. your closet sounds awesome, i would love something like that. right now, my room at my mom's is my santuary, cuz i dont have pets at that house. here's one of my fav excersizes i do, when im stressed out: breathing in, I am alive. breathing out, I smile at the world.
it works for me, and you can do it anywhere. thought id share.
-cat

--
-dyzz-

"An Eye for an eye makes the whole world blind" -Ghandi.

Babel Fish. Babel. Babel. Babel.

PURA VIDA.

Million for Marriage! Sign the petition for gay marriage and GLBT equality!
[link]
:iconmaltodextrate:
~Maltodextrate Nov 22, 2005, 5:22:57 PM
Oooo dang, I have to find his books! Those sound great.

But I mainly just hope to get past he whole mind-numbing rage that comes on whenever I think about Catholocism. Once when I was nine (a LITTLE KID), I mentioned reincarnation and my CCD teacher dragged me in front of two classes of 25 kids and completely ridiculed me and called me a moron. God I STILL get mad thinking about that! And it didn't end there! GRRRR! :angered: Over the years that man made my church life hell.

GAH!

--
No, the abused and the angry end up in prison; it's the lonely that end up here in the mad house.
:icondyzzilet:
~Dyzzilet Nov 26, 2005, 3:56:50 PM
oh, thats horrible!! well, i think its amazing that you are trying to work it out, and picked up Buddhism!! i went to my best friends church, and she was catholic, while i was episcopalian. i was told by a nun there that i would be eternally damned to hell because i was not born and raised catholic. how horrible is that?! but im getting there. well, good luck with reaching your inner peace!
-dyzz-

--
-dyzz-

"An Eye for an eye makes the whole world blind" -Ghandi.

Babel Fish. Babel. Babel. Babel.

PURA VIDA.

Million for Marriage! Sign the petition for gay marriage and GLBT equality!
[link]
:iconmaltodextrate:
~Maltodextrate Nov 26, 2005, 5:54:53 PM
Oh I've been told many times I was damned to hell :D I've gotten used to it. I would have slapped that nun silly!!! Well, not really, but it makes me feel better to say it ^^;

--
No, the abused and the angry end up in prison; it's the lonely that end up here in the mad house.
:iconwgrace:
~wgrace Dec 15, 2005, 5:39:29 PM
just because she went to a public school doesnt mean she isnt going to go to college. you seem to contradict your self saying its unfair that you get to have things while these people have to work for them, you are the one judging these people and saying they are not going to make anything of themselves. look for the good in people, maybe they have heart and can achieve things that you never can. maybe you wont get into a good college and mmaybe they will. im just saying, you never know. dont judge.

--
turn off the news and read.



photographs.
:icondyzzilet:
~Dyzzilet Dec 17, 2005, 6:44:25 AM
i agree, and maybe i was. i just know that its very unlikely she will go to college. that school has a 15% college acceptance rate, and she has a very low chance. maybe she will, i hope so. one of the reasons i left the school was because i was afraid of not getting into college, and my school now is specically designed to get thier students into college. i just think, if shes similar to how i knew her, she would love the people i go to school with, and the challenges there, that arent at that school. i think she will have a happy life, no matter what she does, but i dont think she will earn millions, and be able to do anything. i probably wont either, but i go to a school where that is a possibility for many people. I just feel bad that coming from the same town and school that she did, i will most likely have more opportunities. maybe i am judging, who knows. thanks for making me question everything i believe without looking at it. everyone needs that sometimes. thank you!
-dyzz-

--
-dyzz-

"An Eye for an eye makes the whole world blind" -Ghandi.

Babel Fish. Babel. Babel. Babel.

PURA VIDA.

Million for Marriage! Sign the petition for gay marriage and GLBT equality!
[link]
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